Ok, so I did the Loving Kindness meditation again and I still dont like it. The other meditations I like better. I still have issues when the part comes up for me to take in everyone's pain, including strangers, and breathe our well-being to them. Over time and experience with people, I have found that more times than not, whether Im kind or not, other people are still cruel. I feel sorry for them but I have no desire to help them anymore...so many people dont have the desire to help themselves.
The aspect of my life that is suffering or difficult now is interpersonal. At this point, Im not really sure what my line, level, and aspect of development is yet. Im still trying to analyze the situation and decide how to approach it. Its a friendship that is suffering and Im trying to determine whether it is worth salvaging or letting fade. Maybe some meditation and focusing on the issue at hand will help me have unbiased thoughts and clear my mind to approach a logical solution.
Jess
Jessica at least you are being honest about how you feel. I too had some difficulty with that part but then I thought that part is how they incorporate how you begin to feel loving-kindness for others and yourself. It is hard to be kind and loving toward others when they are not that way to you. Sometimes if they let me be kind to them then I will but if they are just to mean then I don't worry about it. You will probably figure out how to deal with your situation you need to find the right beginning.
ReplyDeleteJess,
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to your integral assessment. I am in a difficult interpersonal transition at this time. I feel that there is something over the horizon for my spiritual path. However there are things in my life I have to come to grips with so to speak. I feel myself shifting but their are people in my life that are not on the same path. They are content with being what we were when we were in our early 20's. I do not judge them for who they are and were they are in their life. But does that expectance mean they have to be apart of my life? Anyway, thank you for sharing so openly.
April
Hi Jess,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing so openly with all of us here. I commend you for that. The truthfulness you have will get you far with your interpersonal relationships. If I may make a suggestion, try not to take things "personally" when doing the mediation. For example you said something like it was hard to send love to those that are cruel. Try not to take what they do personal. It just means they are not happy people from with in and you had to bare witness to that. And when you think of breathing in all the people’s pain and suffering, again, don't take it personal; think of yourself as a vessel for energy to move through you. Not as a carrier that will hold in whatever negative energy you take from someone. I think as you meditate more and try different things, as long as you remain open and honest with yourself you will find what is truly holding you back from giving all of yourself. I think you sound like such a sweet person and I wish you all the great things life has to offer!